It's been a while since I blogged. I don't know why. I have found blogging to be very therapuetic. I guess it's just because I don't think anyone would want to read what I have to say. But there's something I need to get off my chest. Some of you will like it, some won't. But here it is.
As all of you know, I had a VERY hard time coming back from Disney. I felt cheated, and since we're being brutally honest here, for a while I was extremely angry about it all. (If I dwell on it long enough, I still get angry.) It took me a while to sort out WHO I was ANGRY at and WHY I was so angry. Recently I figured it out, and to be honest, the answer kind of shocked me.
I was angry at myself.
Why? Because it's my fault I'm in the situation I'm in.
Y'all, having a disability is HARD. I know most of you don't ever see me beyond when I go out, and I'm always happy. I don't know why, but God blessed me with an eternal sense of optimism. It's a good thing too, because if He had not, I can tell you I wouldn't have made it this far.
I like to think that I am a vcery driven person. I am. I went to Disney and stayed on my own for seven whole months. You all know that. What you don't know is that I was only able to do it because of my parents. I hope my mom doesn't mind me posting this-if you do, sorry Mom-but I had to have an attendant come in and help me get dressed and bathed in the morning, and come back again at night. Most of you probably knew that. What you didn't know is that the Agency we went through charged $75 per day for four hours of work. People think I'm ungrateful sometimes. I'm not. I fully and completely realize that without my parents Disney would not have happened.
Throughout my Disney experience the biggest lesson I learned is this. Are you ready for it? It's pretty deep, you may want to write it down.
The real world sucks.
The people at Disney did not care about my disability at all. They could not see, fathom, or understand what it took for me to even show up to work every day. There were a few times when my caregiver couldn't come and I was stuck in bed until someone did show up. Thankfully, that only happened like three times. I was there strictly because I wanted to be, it sure wasn't for the money. ($7.6 7/hr, max 35 hrs/week. Do the math, that wouldn't even cover HALF my care expenses, and that's not including food and rent. (Rent was deducted from my check) So, I reiterate again, if not for my parents, Disney would NOT have happened for me. I will always be grateful.
In Disney, I learned, "This is my life. And I did it to myself." I could've worked harder. If I had, there's no telling how independent I'd be. I recognize that. I regret it. But I can't really take full responsibility for it. I was just a kid. When you're a kid, your life is all about right now. I didn't know that I would have a lot harder time in the future if I didn't learn to sit up. All I knew was that it was hard and I couldn't understand why other kids didn't have to work as hard as I did. So I cried and whined.
Some of you might say, "Well your mom should've pushed you harder. I will say this one time. I DO NOT BLAME MY MOM. She did the absolute best she could, and some of the same people that say that could';ve helped my mom a lot more than they did when I was a child. She had to work because my dad was in school and it was just easier for her to do something than to wait thirty minutes for me to do it. I get it. Look, let's make no bones about this. I was a spoiled brat as a kid. I whined and cried and got whatever I wanted. There should've been someone that would let me scream until I did it. My dad TRIED, but he had-HAS- a very thin amount of patience and would yell and I'd shut down. Literally, still today if someone yells at me I shut completly down. Unless I'm really pissed, then I might yell back. I need to work on that. But mostly I just shut down and don't speak and try to keep from crying.
I really want to learn to do things for myself. I do not want to be a burden to anyone. I want to get back in Physical therapy but my insurance will not pay. Y'all don't know how frustrating my disability is. I want to go see Frozen again today, but I can't, because no one can or will go with me. If someone takes something out of my room and misplaces it, I can't go look for it so it just EATS at me. The little things really bother me. Like when someone plans to come over and then doesn't, and doesn't text, or call or anything. Just....don't do that. If we have plans and we need to break them, fine. BUT TELL ME. Please. There's so much in my life that is out of my control. I am an adult, but am not the master of my own destiny. Disney wouldn't hire me because they couldn't see past the issues that made me a liability. I get that, but it doesn't make it any less unfair. Maybe I should've worked harder. All I know is that I did the best I could with what I had where I was. And yes, I had a few Disney angels. Brad, Cameron, and Andy, who would take me to the park sometimes until closing so we could ride rides and act crazy. Then they'd come home and help me to bed. I am so grateful. Molly, who never saw my disability, and was appalled I'd never ridden Soarin and made sure I got on. Jenny and Alex, my first Disney friends who saw a lonely roommateless guy and made an effort to change it. And Pete and Mat. TEAM OSWALD FOREVER. I love all of you and wouldn't trade your friendship for anything.
No, I don't think Disney gaver me a fair shake. But I didn't write this for pity. I wrote it to offer you some understanding. I'm trying to find myself find what I am good at. Before you judge me and say. "Why don't you DO something?" Take a minute, read this, and put youreself in my shoes. It's hard to find motivation to do anything when you're still struggling with what you CAN do.
I love Frozen. There is no Disney princess EVER that has spoken to me like Elsa has.
"Here I stand in the light of day, Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk
Monday, December 9, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Defying Gravity
Today is Wicked Day. You can ask New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who declared it such just this morning. What does this mean? It's the tenth anniversary of WICKED The Musical. Admittedly, to the vast majority of the world's population that will not mean much. But to myself, and to all the other die-hard "Ozians" out there, it means an awful lot. WICKED is my favorite musical ever, and I honestly believe it helped to mold me into the person I am today.
Honestly, my love of theatre began rather late in my life, and it did not start with WICKED. Phantom was my first real theatre love. I saw that when I was eighteen. (The film version anyway.) As much as I love Phantom, it didn't inspire me to get into theatre like WICKED did. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
In the spring of 2006, Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) did a play called EQUUS in London. (Yeah, the weird horse one he was naked in.) So that gave my cousin Danny and I the idea to go to London for Spring Break. Well, after much begging and the kindness of my grandparents, we managed it.
What can I say about London? Okay, let's face it, there's a lot I could say about it. But this blog isn't about London, it's about WICKED. For those of you who are curious, yes, I saw the Daniel Radcliffe naked play. Yes, I met him and got his autograph. But more of that another time.
When I saw WICKED, I was feeling pretty low. We had seen a matinee of Phantom that day and our seats were abysmal. They were so far back that I couldn't see any of the effects that were above and below the stage. Imagine my elation then, when I was told by the usher at WICKED that I would be seated in the lower balcony and would be able to see everything! They even had a wheelchair lift to take me to my seat! Well, the seats were perfect. They were just high enough so that I could see everything, but low enough that the actors didn't look like ants. From my first view of the dragon clock, I was hooked. I remember that there was a very nice lady sitting next to Danny and me that was afraid of heights and to get her seat switched. I remember thinking that was odd because Danny is afraid of heights too and our seats didn't bother him.
WICKED enthralled me wholly. I'll confess that I don't remember who was playing Elphaba or Glinda at the performance, but at that point in my life I wasn't yet obsessed with actors and the roles they played. What I do remember is seeing myself reflected in Elphaba so much that it brought tears to my eyes. No, I'm not "unnaturally green" but I do use a wheelchair and that makes me notably different. When Elphie sang "Defying Gravity" I felt that she was talking to me directly. At that point in my life, I was really struggling to find myself. Elphaba's mission in WICKED to do the right thing helped me to realize that sometimes the bright thing isn't always the popular thing. Also like Elphaba, I've also often wished that someone would "degreenify" me. What kid with a disability hasn't? But, like Elphaba was finally comfortable with her greenness in the end, I have also largely accepted my wheelchair.
Yes, it was WICKED that sparked my desire to act. After all, one of the characters is in a Wheelchair! (Yes, I know the actress isn't, but it still gave me hope)
I maynot remember who played Elphaba or Glinda, but Adam Garcia played Fiyero (Elphaba's love interest) because I met him and got his autograph! He was really nice! We talked for about 15 minutes.
Yes, there have been some doubters along the way who said acting is a poor choice for me. In closing, I'd like to present to them my earlier Facebook Status:
Love, Me
Honestly, my love of theatre began rather late in my life, and it did not start with WICKED. Phantom was my first real theatre love. I saw that when I was eighteen. (The film version anyway.) As much as I love Phantom, it didn't inspire me to get into theatre like WICKED did. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
In the spring of 2006, Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) did a play called EQUUS in London. (Yeah, the weird horse one he was naked in.) So that gave my cousin Danny and I the idea to go to London for Spring Break. Well, after much begging and the kindness of my grandparents, we managed it.
What can I say about London? Okay, let's face it, there's a lot I could say about it. But this blog isn't about London, it's about WICKED. For those of you who are curious, yes, I saw the Daniel Radcliffe naked play. Yes, I met him and got his autograph. But more of that another time.
When I saw WICKED, I was feeling pretty low. We had seen a matinee of Phantom that day and our seats were abysmal. They were so far back that I couldn't see any of the effects that were above and below the stage. Imagine my elation then, when I was told by the usher at WICKED that I would be seated in the lower balcony and would be able to see everything! They even had a wheelchair lift to take me to my seat! Well, the seats were perfect. They were just high enough so that I could see everything, but low enough that the actors didn't look like ants. From my first view of the dragon clock, I was hooked. I remember that there was a very nice lady sitting next to Danny and me that was afraid of heights and to get her seat switched. I remember thinking that was odd because Danny is afraid of heights too and our seats didn't bother him.
WICKED enthralled me wholly. I'll confess that I don't remember who was playing Elphaba or Glinda at the performance, but at that point in my life I wasn't yet obsessed with actors and the roles they played. What I do remember is seeing myself reflected in Elphaba so much that it brought tears to my eyes. No, I'm not "unnaturally green" but I do use a wheelchair and that makes me notably different. When Elphie sang "Defying Gravity" I felt that she was talking to me directly. At that point in my life, I was really struggling to find myself. Elphaba's mission in WICKED to do the right thing helped me to realize that sometimes the bright thing isn't always the popular thing. Also like Elphaba, I've also often wished that someone would "degreenify" me. What kid with a disability hasn't? But, like Elphaba was finally comfortable with her greenness in the end, I have also largely accepted my wheelchair.
Yes, it was WICKED that sparked my desire to act. After all, one of the characters is in a Wheelchair! (Yes, I know the actress isn't, but it still gave me hope)
I maynot remember who played Elphaba or Glinda, but Adam Garcia played Fiyero (Elphaba's love interest) because I met him and got his autograph! He was really nice! We talked for about 15 minutes.
Yes, there have been some doubters along the way who said acting is a poor choice for me. In closing, I'd like to present to them my earlier Facebook Status:
Happy 10th birthday to the most Splendiferous musical ever, WICKED! Ever since I first saw it in London Spring Break 2006 with my favorite cousin Danny McDonald, a love of theatre has overtaken my very soul. I always knew that I'd defy gravity someday, and now, with a children's musical, a lead in a Chekov play, a short film, an eight month internship at Walt Disney World, COMPLETE with a professional modeling... gig for Disney and a new four-legged friend at the end, I'd say I've defied gravity pretty well. Let's see what comes next!
"So if you care to find me, look to the Western sky! As someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly! And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free. To those who'd ground me, take a message back for me. Tell them how I am DEFYING GRAVITY!"
Happy birthday WICKED! Thank you for teaching me that even kids in wheelchairs can defy gravity.
Thanks, WICKED. I owe you my career."So if you care to find me, look to the Western sky! As someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly! And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free. To those who'd ground me, take a message back for me. Tell them how I am DEFYING GRAVITY!"
Happy birthday WICKED! Thank you for teaching me that even kids in wheelchairs can defy gravity.
Love, Me
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Limited Edition!
Here goes. I know my last post was all about me whining about Disney. I have reread said post, and I considered deleting it. But by now, it has been up for so long that if any damage was or is going to be done by it, it has already been done. So, that being known....here's what you need to know.
I met some truly amazing people at Disney. It was beyond awesome to think, "Hey, I feel like going to Magic Kingdom today." And then realize I could do that. And if I wanted, I could ride It's a Small World eight times and wink at the winking hippo every time and bow and say, "Arigato" every time I passed the Japanese kids. Because, I'm a huge dork. I'm perpetually seven. For a while, I lost that. Not gonna lie, I was pretty bitter about losing the job at Disney. I thought I was a shoe-in. In a lot of ways, I am. You're still not going to convince me that there's a living person that knows more about the Disney brand than I do. But, then I thought about it, and logistically, it just would not have worked. I don't think my parents would mind me posting this, and if they do, that's my problem. But, if you know me, you know that I'm not self-sufficient. My parents had to pay someone to come in daily and take care of me. I'm not going to crunch any numbers here, but let's just say there is no way I could have afforded all that I needed to live on the hourly rate of a Disney front-line cast member. This is not Disney's fault. What they pay is plenty to sustain your average Disney-obsessed college student working his first job. But I am not average. I'm limited edition, and limited edition people sometimes incur more living expenses. So, maybe I need to stop being bitter. I'm working on it. I'm slowly warming back up to all thing Disney. After all, what's Peter Pan without his pixie dust, right?
The truth is, I'm scared. I'm kind of in a "Oh my God, Disney didn't work out, what am I supposed to do now?" place. It's a scary place. Honestly I thought moving back to Mississippi was a non-issue. Now, here I am. What do I do? I love Mississippi but it's not exactly a locale that's hopping in the theatre world. I do have my English degree. That brings me back to the question I was asked so often in college:
What are you going to do with your degrees? Teach?
Not that there's anything wrong with teaching. My grandmother taught me in both first and second grades. Teachers make the world go round in that we would not have any other profession on the planet if it weren't for teachers. I'm great with kids, I know that. But for some reason right now I'm just not feeling teaching. I think it's because I was in school for so long and the idea of being in another academic setting, whether as teacher or pupil, kind of makes me want to barf. Maybe I'll get over it someday. I'm taking the GRE at the end of next month, so we shall see.
The stage is where my heart is. Ever since I was a little kid, I've loved pretending. I learned very early in my life that my disability was not fair. I couldn't change it, but I could pretend that the tunnel I crawled through was a dragon's cave and I had to get in to find the treasure, or the wedge I crawled up in Physical Therapy could be Pride Rock, making me Simba, or the pirate ship I had at bath time could be sailing away to Neverland. My disability disappeared at play time, because the only limits were the limits of my imagination.
I didn't write any of that to get pity, or make any one sad. All of this is simply catharsis for me. An out pouring of emotion, as much for me as for the rest of you. This is why I am the way I am. The fantastical things that I love so dearly help me deal with the harshness of my reality. I mean, I have a friend who is so far having a pretty successful acting career in New Orleans. That's awesome, and it's really close, and I want to go there and act too, because I need acting like breathing, but I can't. Because of the reality of my situation.
When I was finally able to let go of all the negative feelings I had surrounding the situation, I realized that Disney is probably the best thing that ever happened to me. I grew up a lot. I got a taste of the real world. I got to do it at the most magical place on earth! I m,et some of the best and Truest friends in my life. Brad, Cameron, Andy, and Alejandro, who were all roomies already but accepted me into their family anyway. These guys are the best. I can't count the rides they helped me onto, or the times we came back late and they helped me into bed. The incomparable Molly, who ran around Epcot with me at Flower and Garden Festival, met a very kind Disney fanatic like us who gave us pins! Not to mention that when I'd burst into song randomly, she'd sing right along. Pete and Mat, two of my best friends, who ran around Hollywood Studios with me in the rain on a scavenger hunt, and didn't care that we lost because we were having too much fun. Katie, Andy S., Nicole, Maria, Kayla B., Kayla M., Lorrie, Kelly, and Hari, thank you for making work such a giggly, fun place even when I was having a bad day. Jenny and Rachel, thank you for going out of your way to make sure I got to ride big Thunder mountain one last time. Alex M., my first friend, thank you for giving me a person to talk to when I had no one else. Dana and Rebecca, thanks for tackling the Kitchen Sink with me! Katie J., thanks for letting me talk your ear off about Nemo, lol. Natasha, all I can say to you is, thank you for your courage. Your struggle and how you've come through gives me hope for my own future. Scott, THANK YOU. I have never met a Disney addict more like me, and you showed me it's okay to just be me.
I know this is long, but I have a few more things that need addressing. The first of which is Darby. Without Disney, I'd never have met my dear friend Katelyn Martin, and without her, I'd never have heard of My Angel with Paws and gotten Darby. He's amazing. He learns new things every day to help me, and never ceases to make me smile. He is a goofball, my child with paws, And I've never loved anyone more. I had to grow a LOT. He is my responsibility, and I never would've grown enough to care for him if not for Disney. I truly believe that Darby is the purpose and ultimate culmination of my college program. And I couldn't have asked for a better prize.
One last thing. Someone told me recently that I was the most influenced person they'd ever met in their life. This was said in anger, but I took and take offense to it. I have always taken pride in the fact that I march to the beat of my own drum. I don't really mind if you don't like me. or what I do. I want to be my own person. There aren't many people that I don't like. I'm genuine and real. I want to make my own mark on the world, not some pre-determined path someone chose for me. The only person limiting me is me. I 'm not sure what to do now. But life is a journey, and I like to take it one day at a time.
I'm Ryan. I'm limited edition!
I met some truly amazing people at Disney. It was beyond awesome to think, "Hey, I feel like going to Magic Kingdom today." And then realize I could do that. And if I wanted, I could ride It's a Small World eight times and wink at the winking hippo every time and bow and say, "Arigato" every time I passed the Japanese kids. Because, I'm a huge dork. I'm perpetually seven. For a while, I lost that. Not gonna lie, I was pretty bitter about losing the job at Disney. I thought I was a shoe-in. In a lot of ways, I am. You're still not going to convince me that there's a living person that knows more about the Disney brand than I do. But, then I thought about it, and logistically, it just would not have worked. I don't think my parents would mind me posting this, and if they do, that's my problem. But, if you know me, you know that I'm not self-sufficient. My parents had to pay someone to come in daily and take care of me. I'm not going to crunch any numbers here, but let's just say there is no way I could have afforded all that I needed to live on the hourly rate of a Disney front-line cast member. This is not Disney's fault. What they pay is plenty to sustain your average Disney-obsessed college student working his first job. But I am not average. I'm limited edition, and limited edition people sometimes incur more living expenses. So, maybe I need to stop being bitter. I'm working on it. I'm slowly warming back up to all thing Disney. After all, what's Peter Pan without his pixie dust, right?
The truth is, I'm scared. I'm kind of in a "Oh my God, Disney didn't work out, what am I supposed to do now?" place. It's a scary place. Honestly I thought moving back to Mississippi was a non-issue. Now, here I am. What do I do? I love Mississippi but it's not exactly a locale that's hopping in the theatre world. I do have my English degree. That brings me back to the question I was asked so often in college:
What are you going to do with your degrees? Teach?
Not that there's anything wrong with teaching. My grandmother taught me in both first and second grades. Teachers make the world go round in that we would not have any other profession on the planet if it weren't for teachers. I'm great with kids, I know that. But for some reason right now I'm just not feeling teaching. I think it's because I was in school for so long and the idea of being in another academic setting, whether as teacher or pupil, kind of makes me want to barf. Maybe I'll get over it someday. I'm taking the GRE at the end of next month, so we shall see.
The stage is where my heart is. Ever since I was a little kid, I've loved pretending. I learned very early in my life that my disability was not fair. I couldn't change it, but I could pretend that the tunnel I crawled through was a dragon's cave and I had to get in to find the treasure, or the wedge I crawled up in Physical Therapy could be Pride Rock, making me Simba, or the pirate ship I had at bath time could be sailing away to Neverland. My disability disappeared at play time, because the only limits were the limits of my imagination.
I didn't write any of that to get pity, or make any one sad. All of this is simply catharsis for me. An out pouring of emotion, as much for me as for the rest of you. This is why I am the way I am. The fantastical things that I love so dearly help me deal with the harshness of my reality. I mean, I have a friend who is so far having a pretty successful acting career in New Orleans. That's awesome, and it's really close, and I want to go there and act too, because I need acting like breathing, but I can't. Because of the reality of my situation.
When I was finally able to let go of all the negative feelings I had surrounding the situation, I realized that Disney is probably the best thing that ever happened to me. I grew up a lot. I got a taste of the real world. I got to do it at the most magical place on earth! I m,et some of the best and Truest friends in my life. Brad, Cameron, Andy, and Alejandro, who were all roomies already but accepted me into their family anyway. These guys are the best. I can't count the rides they helped me onto, or the times we came back late and they helped me into bed. The incomparable Molly, who ran around Epcot with me at Flower and Garden Festival, met a very kind Disney fanatic like us who gave us pins! Not to mention that when I'd burst into song randomly, she'd sing right along. Pete and Mat, two of my best friends, who ran around Hollywood Studios with me in the rain on a scavenger hunt, and didn't care that we lost because we were having too much fun. Katie, Andy S., Nicole, Maria, Kayla B., Kayla M., Lorrie, Kelly, and Hari, thank you for making work such a giggly, fun place even when I was having a bad day. Jenny and Rachel, thank you for going out of your way to make sure I got to ride big Thunder mountain one last time. Alex M., my first friend, thank you for giving me a person to talk to when I had no one else. Dana and Rebecca, thanks for tackling the Kitchen Sink with me! Katie J., thanks for letting me talk your ear off about Nemo, lol. Natasha, all I can say to you is, thank you for your courage. Your struggle and how you've come through gives me hope for my own future. Scott, THANK YOU. I have never met a Disney addict more like me, and you showed me it's okay to just be me.
I know this is long, but I have a few more things that need addressing. The first of which is Darby. Without Disney, I'd never have met my dear friend Katelyn Martin, and without her, I'd never have heard of My Angel with Paws and gotten Darby. He's amazing. He learns new things every day to help me, and never ceases to make me smile. He is a goofball, my child with paws, And I've never loved anyone more. I had to grow a LOT. He is my responsibility, and I never would've grown enough to care for him if not for Disney. I truly believe that Darby is the purpose and ultimate culmination of my college program. And I couldn't have asked for a better prize.
One last thing. Someone told me recently that I was the most influenced person they'd ever met in their life. This was said in anger, but I took and take offense to it. I have always taken pride in the fact that I march to the beat of my own drum. I don't really mind if you don't like me. or what I do. I want to be my own person. There aren't many people that I don't like. I'm genuine and real. I want to make my own mark on the world, not some pre-determined path someone chose for me. The only person limiting me is me. I 'm not sure what to do now. But life is a journey, and I like to take it one day at a time.
I'm Ryan. I'm limited edition!
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Ever After...should be happily.
So I'm back after about a two month hiatus. This also means I am back in Collins, MS. If you know me at all, you already know what's been going on in my life without me needing to rehash it here. I finished the Disney College Program and interviewed for two separate jobs at Disney. I was denied for both. Look, I understand why I was. Why would they hire me, a guy who can't drive himself, can't care for himself, can't even run a register. Oh, and by the way. That was NOT my decision. My managers arbitrarily made the decision not to register train me. I was never even consulted. So I sat there for eight months and handed out stickers. Now I'm sitting here at home feeling incredibly betrayed and let down. My feeling is, sorry for being so blunt, but, that Disney really screwed me. I have had several of my friends tell me, "Disney didn't screw you. You completed your college program. That's all it was. A college program."
This is completely true. Disney is a machine, and a well-oiled one at that. They are good at what they do and they know exactly what they're doing with this college program. 75% of the work force at Walt Disney World resort are students. They work us ungodly hours andpay us the absolute minimum allowed. Because they can. They throw free park passes at us and expect everything to be A-OK. And for the first six months of my program, everything was. I fell for it hook line and sinker. The word "discrimination" had never entered my mind.
Then July 4th rolled around. I was enrolled in a Disney Leadership class. It was cancelled the week of the fourth, because Disney needed as many free cast members as possible. Through the disability accomodations office, I was given a hard schedule of 9 AM-4:30 PM Wed-Sun. However, since it was a holiday week I went to my manager and asked him if I could work an extra shift. His response was as follows:
"Oh well, it's going to be hard for you to pick up extra shifts because you are classified as nonessential since you don't run a register. And actually, every time you work, we're over budget."
Oh. Okay. Excuse me. Then what the heck am I even doing here? Not to mention that when I told my General manager about it she told me he was right and that I needed to pick my battles and get over it.
What I have since learned (or rather figured out for myself) is that they only kept me on to avoid a lawsuit. "Oh, he can't even run a register but we can't fire him because if we do we'll be in all kinds of trouble."
Also, the only reason I got the character attendant job was because I emailed the ADA Placement Specialist at casting and told him that with my impeccable work record and 8 guest service fanatic cards (those are basically a pat on the back from Disney when you do something right.) I was not prepared to take no for an answer. So he set up the interview and then he made me wait two weeks for an answer to keep my hopes up. I know I didn't have to wait two weeks, because I found out that I didn't get the Vacation Planner job the DAY I interviewed.
The Disney College Program is JUST an internship. It is not meant to be a career start program. It's just an instrument for Disney to get cheap labor.
This is purely a ranting post meant for me to be able to expunge the bitterness from my soul. This in no way discounts all the great experiences I had or all the terrific friends I made. I wouldn't trade them or the experience for anything. But I'm not sure I'll ever apply to Disney again. I'm not sure I'd be able to withstand such massive disappointment again.
Disney is a corporation. They are all about the money. And I'm not at all convinced that Walt wouldn't be horrified by what his company has become.
There is NOBODY on this planet that would've been better for, or more willing to work for, them than me. Their loss.
All that being said, I suppose I should keep this in mind:
This is completely true. Disney is a machine, and a well-oiled one at that. They are good at what they do and they know exactly what they're doing with this college program. 75% of the work force at Walt Disney World resort are students. They work us ungodly hours andpay us the absolute minimum allowed. Because they can. They throw free park passes at us and expect everything to be A-OK. And for the first six months of my program, everything was. I fell for it hook line and sinker. The word "discrimination" had never entered my mind.
Then July 4th rolled around. I was enrolled in a Disney Leadership class. It was cancelled the week of the fourth, because Disney needed as many free cast members as possible. Through the disability accomodations office, I was given a hard schedule of 9 AM-4:30 PM Wed-Sun. However, since it was a holiday week I went to my manager and asked him if I could work an extra shift. His response was as follows:
"Oh well, it's going to be hard for you to pick up extra shifts because you are classified as nonessential since you don't run a register. And actually, every time you work, we're over budget."
Oh. Okay. Excuse me. Then what the heck am I even doing here? Not to mention that when I told my General manager about it she told me he was right and that I needed to pick my battles and get over it.
What I have since learned (or rather figured out for myself) is that they only kept me on to avoid a lawsuit. "Oh, he can't even run a register but we can't fire him because if we do we'll be in all kinds of trouble."
Also, the only reason I got the character attendant job was because I emailed the ADA Placement Specialist at casting and told him that with my impeccable work record and 8 guest service fanatic cards (those are basically a pat on the back from Disney when you do something right.) I was not prepared to take no for an answer. So he set up the interview and then he made me wait two weeks for an answer to keep my hopes up. I know I didn't have to wait two weeks, because I found out that I didn't get the Vacation Planner job the DAY I interviewed.
The Disney College Program is JUST an internship. It is not meant to be a career start program. It's just an instrument for Disney to get cheap labor.
This is purely a ranting post meant for me to be able to expunge the bitterness from my soul. This in no way discounts all the great experiences I had or all the terrific friends I made. I wouldn't trade them or the experience for anything. But I'm not sure I'll ever apply to Disney again. I'm not sure I'd be able to withstand such massive disappointment again.
Disney is a corporation. They are all about the money. And I'm not at all convinced that Walt wouldn't be horrified by what his company has become.
There is NOBODY on this planet that would've been better for, or more willing to work for, them than me. Their loss.
All that being said, I suppose I should keep this in mind:
"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious...and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”
-Walt Disney
PS. Before any of you mention it, I KNOW there is a very positive thing that came out of this, but he's for another day.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Curious Nonsense-A poem about Alice.
Herein a pem I created for my friend Maria. I work with Maria, and she loves Alice in Wonderland. I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS, but the words are copyright Ryan L. Arnold 2013.
Hope you enjoy!
Hope you enjoy!
Curious Nonsense
By Ryan L. Arnold
A poem inspired by the characters of
Alice in Wonderland for Maria Melendez Perera
Curious Nonsense
There was once a girl called Alice
Who longed for a world of her own.
She had grown extremely bored
With everything she’d been shown.
She wished for animals dressed smartly
Who’d perhaps have her to tea?
But she knew in this world
These things just couldn’t be.
Until she saw a rabbit
With a pocket watch and coat
She followed him down the rabbit hole,
And across the sea in a boat.
She found herself in Wonderland
A curious place indeed!
For everything she wished for,
Herein found themselves freed.
For here she found a tea party,
Where everyone was mad.
And had the worst unbirthday
That she had ever had.
And she found a cat that was all there,
And then was not at all.
She ate a magic teacake,
That made her big and tall.
She had to drink a potion
To once again get small.
The ruler there was quite a queen,
Who wanted roses red,
And if she didn’t get them
She’d say, “Off with your head!”
When Alice was chased by the queen,
With intent to behead,
She was quite surprised to see
Herself curled in bed.
“Alice!” she cried pleadingly,
“Alice! You must awake!
For more of this curious nonsense,
I simply cannot take!”
Monday, July 1, 2013
When Will My Life Begin?
So, I didn't blog yesterday. But it's not because I'd forgotten my commitment to this blog. Yesterday was a really rough day, work crawled along at a snails pace. By the time it was over I was afraid that if I did blog I would just say some very bitter and mean things about the company I work for, and that's not something I want to do. If you have been reading this blog since I started it, I think you know that I don't mean for this to be a bitter and angry place where I just throw up feelings as they come out. I'm writing this because it's good for me. It calms me down. Also, the simpler reason is because I love writing. I have come to the realization over the past few weeks that that is really what I wish to do with my life. I have ideas for stories swirling around in my head all the time, but...I don't know. I just lack the discipline to write them down. What I need is someone who will hold me accountable. Not my mom, or anyone in my family for that matter. My mom would love it if I became a writer, and she has all the faith in me in the world. For some reason though, whenever your mom tells you to do something, no matter how old you get, it feels like nagging. Why is that? You'd think we'd get mature enough at some point in our lives to be able to escape that feeling.
Teaching is another thing I've been considering. I have no doubt that I'd like it, or even that I'd be good at it. Children seem so much easier to communicate with than adults. I think for me it's because of their raw honesty and curiosity. Yesterday, I had a five-year-old boy named Oliver (awesome name, right?? His brother's name was Elliot, they were adorable.) Anyway, here's Oliver and my conversation:
O: *Blows Donald Duck quack whistle* *R jumps* Ha ha! I scared you!
R: You did! Hey, do you wanna Mickey sticker?
O: Oooh yeah! What's your name? I'm Oliver. *takes sticker*
R: I'm Ryan. That's a pretty neat name you have there, Oliver. Like Oliver Twist.
O: I've heard of that, but my mom says I'm not big enough to read it yet.
R: You should tell her to read you the junior version. You could handle that.
O: Maybe. Hey, why do you have to sit in that chair?
R: Because my brain can't tell my legs how to walk, so I get around using this. I actually even have a quack whistle like you have. I blow it so people will know I'm coming and get out of my way.
O: *giggles* Does it work?
R: Sometimes.
O: So, if your brain can't tell your legs how to walk, does it hurt?
R: Not at all.
O:That's good. Hey, I probably gotta go now.
R: Okay! Don't forget to tell your mom about our friend Mr. Twist.
O: I won't. Thanks for the sticker!
R: You're welcome!
*He runs off, then turns, looks at me, and runs back*
O: I almost forgot to tell you something.
R: What's that?
O: I'm glad it doesn't hurt. Bye!
R: Bye, Oliver!
At that point I was choking back tears. I wanted to hug him, but we aren't allowed unless the guest moves first.
To end...
"You have to give up the life that you had planned in order to find the life that is waiting for you. -Joseph Campbell
I wonder what's waiting for me?
Teaching is another thing I've been considering. I have no doubt that I'd like it, or even that I'd be good at it. Children seem so much easier to communicate with than adults. I think for me it's because of their raw honesty and curiosity. Yesterday, I had a five-year-old boy named Oliver (awesome name, right?? His brother's name was Elliot, they were adorable.) Anyway, here's Oliver and my conversation:
O: *Blows Donald Duck quack whistle* *R jumps* Ha ha! I scared you!
R: You did! Hey, do you wanna Mickey sticker?
O: Oooh yeah! What's your name? I'm Oliver. *takes sticker*
R: I'm Ryan. That's a pretty neat name you have there, Oliver. Like Oliver Twist.
O: I've heard of that, but my mom says I'm not big enough to read it yet.
R: You should tell her to read you the junior version. You could handle that.
O: Maybe. Hey, why do you have to sit in that chair?
R: Because my brain can't tell my legs how to walk, so I get around using this. I actually even have a quack whistle like you have. I blow it so people will know I'm coming and get out of my way.
O: *giggles* Does it work?
R: Sometimes.
O: So, if your brain can't tell your legs how to walk, does it hurt?
R: Not at all.
O:That's good. Hey, I probably gotta go now.
R: Okay! Don't forget to tell your mom about our friend Mr. Twist.
O: I won't. Thanks for the sticker!
R: You're welcome!
*He runs off, then turns, looks at me, and runs back*
O: I almost forgot to tell you something.
R: What's that?
O: I'm glad it doesn't hurt. Bye!
R: Bye, Oliver!
At that point I was choking back tears. I wanted to hug him, but we aren't allowed unless the guest moves first.
To end...
"You have to give up the life that you had planned in order to find the life that is waiting for you. -Joseph Campbell
I wonder what's waiting for me?
Saturday, June 29, 2013
I have often dreamed...
I have been watching a lot of classic movies lately. They are a very good anti-depressant for me. Something about that era of movies wherein the jokes are clean but sidesplitting, the men are dashing and charming, and the women are classy, gorgeous, and worth the chase. In all of this, nothing can make me smile wider than watching Gene Kelly sing and dance. I've read that he caught a lot of flack because his chosen career of dancing was not considered "masculine". Boy, do I ever know that feel, bro. You know, when I chose to be a theatre major, there were a lot of people that literally laughed in my face. Including some individuals that worked in my chosen university's Disability Accommodations office. As you can probably imagine, I was quite smug when I called to personally let that individual know that I had been cast as the secondary male lead in our upcoming production.
I spend a lot of time-especially after I watch a Gene Kelly movie-wishing that I had been born in his time. But let's get real. If I were always destined to be in a wheelchair no matter what time period I had been born in, my quality of life would've been a lot poorer than it is now. Modern conveniences make things much easier. Besides, I really dig my iPhone.
As for where I fit, I have no clue. As little as one month ago, I would've told you it was Disney. Now I've never been more unsure. To quote my friend Hercules:
I have often dreamed of a far off place, where a great warm welcome will be waiting for me. Where the crowds will cheer when they see my face, and a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be.
I will find my way, I can go the distance, I'll be there someday if I can be strong. I know every mile will be worth my while. I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong.
Until then, I guess I'll just keep singin' in the rain.
No really. Florida weather sucks.
I spend a lot of time-especially after I watch a Gene Kelly movie-wishing that I had been born in his time. But let's get real. If I were always destined to be in a wheelchair no matter what time period I had been born in, my quality of life would've been a lot poorer than it is now. Modern conveniences make things much easier. Besides, I really dig my iPhone.
As for where I fit, I have no clue. As little as one month ago, I would've told you it was Disney. Now I've never been more unsure. To quote my friend Hercules:
I have often dreamed of a far off place, where a great warm welcome will be waiting for me. Where the crowds will cheer when they see my face, and a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be.
I will find my way, I can go the distance, I'll be there someday if I can be strong. I know every mile will be worth my while. I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong.
Until then, I guess I'll just keep singin' in the rain.
No really. Florida weather sucks.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Be Our Guest
I almost did not blog today, but if I want to be a serious writer then I have to write every day. Besides, it's therapuetic, however, I can't promise it will be a long one. So today I found out I did not get extended for another four months in the Disney College Program. I thought I was pretty well prepared for that possibility, but I must confess it still hit me pretty hard. It didn't help in the least that I still had an hour of work to go when I found out. During that last hour it was all I could do to keep smiling. What does it matter? The fact that I have never called in, my five guest service fanatic cards, all my positive mentions by name in guest surveys? Doesn't anyone care about that?
Then it hit me. That's just it. It's all about the guests, not the cast members. Guests are the only ones that matter. So as long as I keep guests happy, that's all that matters.
And that's about all I can muster today. If you're the praying sort, lift one or two up for me, will you?
Ryan Arnold's personal blog is in no way affiliated with the Walt Disney Company.
Then it hit me. That's just it. It's all about the guests, not the cast members. Guests are the only ones that matter. So as long as I keep guests happy, that's all that matters.
And that's about all I can muster today. If you're the praying sort, lift one or two up for me, will you?
Ryan Arnold's personal blog is in no way affiliated with the Walt Disney Company.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Just a little bit of Pixie Dust
Well, I said I was going to try to blog more, and if I do indeed reach the end of this post and publish it, that'll be two days in a row. I don't want anyone thinking that by yesterday's post I was trying to be negative about Disney. I wasn't. I wasn't even ranting really. I was simply posting an explanation because I had gotten so many "What happened?" messages/texts/phone calls. Which means that a lot of you are concerned about me, and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Let's talk about good Disney. This is my view, and is in no way affiliated with the Walt Disney Company. Now, let's face facts. Not a lot of people from my neck of the woods get to work at Disney. Even out of the few that do, VERY few of those are cripples from Mississippi who no no one thought would ever even attend college, let alone graduate from it. I have done both, even though it took me longer than the average person, but hey, I'm allowed. Besides, my goal in life is to make sure that nothing about me is normal or average. Who wants to be normal anyway? Normal is nothing but a cycle on the dryer. If it were up to me, there would be no such word. The word normal indicates a bland, everyday sort of thing. Life is a gift. As people that are alive and breathing, we should be thankful for those breaths every day. If we are truly thankful for them, we should use them to our fullest ability, and if we are doing that, then our lives will be anything but NORMAL. Normality should be an abomination, to be called normal should be the biggest insult anyone could ever be paid.
Whew, got off Disney there for a minute didn't I? That's okay, I actually didn't have a lot more to say about it. Only this. The fact that I was ever able to work here to begin with, regardless of what happens past this, has been the greatest honor and privilege of my life. Greater even than my college degree; than any show I've ever been a part of. Why? Because everything I am now, and everything I will be, and even most things I love, whether they have the D on them or not, would not exist without Disney. This is my message to Walt Disney, with a little help from some of his friends: (slightly paraphrased)
"You have saved my life. I am eternally grateful."
Who cares if I was only here for a short while? According to Peter Pan you need two things to fly:
1. A happy thought
2. Just a little bit of pixie dust
I'm happy in the knowledge that, thanks to me, there are hundreds (maybe thousands) of kids out there that have both.
It's what I do.
Let's talk about good Disney. This is my view, and is in no way affiliated with the Walt Disney Company. Now, let's face facts. Not a lot of people from my neck of the woods get to work at Disney. Even out of the few that do, VERY few of those are cripples from Mississippi who no no one thought would ever even attend college, let alone graduate from it. I have done both, even though it took me longer than the average person, but hey, I'm allowed. Besides, my goal in life is to make sure that nothing about me is normal or average. Who wants to be normal anyway? Normal is nothing but a cycle on the dryer. If it were up to me, there would be no such word. The word normal indicates a bland, everyday sort of thing. Life is a gift. As people that are alive and breathing, we should be thankful for those breaths every day. If we are truly thankful for them, we should use them to our fullest ability, and if we are doing that, then our lives will be anything but NORMAL. Normality should be an abomination, to be called normal should be the biggest insult anyone could ever be paid.
Whew, got off Disney there for a minute didn't I? That's okay, I actually didn't have a lot more to say about it. Only this. The fact that I was ever able to work here to begin with, regardless of what happens past this, has been the greatest honor and privilege of my life. Greater even than my college degree; than any show I've ever been a part of. Why? Because everything I am now, and everything I will be, and even most things I love, whether they have the D on them or not, would not exist without Disney. This is my message to Walt Disney, with a little help from some of his friends: (slightly paraphrased)
"You have saved my life. I am eternally grateful."
Who cares if I was only here for a short while? According to Peter Pan you need two things to fly:
1. A happy thought
2. Just a little bit of pixie dust
I'm happy in the knowledge that, thanks to me, there are hundreds (maybe thousands) of kids out there that have both.
It's what I do.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Thanks for Your Service.....Have a Magical Life
Yeah, I know I said I was going to restart this blog and take it seriously. And I will. I want to be a writer. I yearn for it. But writing is a tiring process. It may not be physically exhausting, but is takes a toll on the mind, it's very mentally taxing. Plus, to be a good writer, you have to have something that up until very recently I have lacked in a rather big way. Discipline. However, during the past seven months on the Disney College Program, boy have I learned a lot about Discipline.
Now here's the point in the blog where I start talking about Disney, and before I can do that, I have to state:
This blog and the views expressed herein are solely the opinions of the author, Ryan L. Arnold. In no way does the blog express or claim any affiliation with the Walt Disney Company or the feelings of the individuals employed therein.
Now then. If you follow my Facebook, you know that I went from "DISNEY IS THE MOST WONDERFUL PLACE EVER and I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE" to "This is horrible and I want to go home" seemingly overnight and with no warning. In this entry I am going to provide you with an explanation.
Again, if you know me personally and follow my Facebook, you know Disney appointed me as a greeter at a merchandise shop. At first I thought this was great until I realized that they had just stuck me there because they realized that because of my disability I am too slow to run the cash register. This puts me in a class known as "non-essential." Simply put, that means they do not need me to run the shop. As a result, they will not allow me to pick up any extra hours because every hour that I do work, they are overbudget. Why didn't they just fire me, you ask? They could have, and they probably would've been justified in doing so, BUT...if they had, they would've had a lulu of a lawsuit on their hands. Which is why, when I went to casting two weeks ago, although it wasn't said, I distinctly got the impression that not only were they not going to extend my program, but they weren't interested in employing me either. No matter how many guest service fanatic cards I have, or how many kids I've made smile.
You may say, "Why are you posting this while still on the program?" I've asked several people about this, and that is why I posted the disclaimer. It protects me. Besides, all this has done nothing to lessen my enthusiasm for the Brand. All this has nothing to do with Mickey or all the happy things Disney. I still love Disney. Besides, I understand. It's strictly business.
Anyway, that's it. If you comment, please do so here and not on Facebook.
Now here's the point in the blog where I start talking about Disney, and before I can do that, I have to state:
This blog and the views expressed herein are solely the opinions of the author, Ryan L. Arnold. In no way does the blog express or claim any affiliation with the Walt Disney Company or the feelings of the individuals employed therein.
Now then. If you follow my Facebook, you know that I went from "DISNEY IS THE MOST WONDERFUL PLACE EVER and I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE" to "This is horrible and I want to go home" seemingly overnight and with no warning. In this entry I am going to provide you with an explanation.
Again, if you know me personally and follow my Facebook, you know Disney appointed me as a greeter at a merchandise shop. At first I thought this was great until I realized that they had just stuck me there because they realized that because of my disability I am too slow to run the cash register. This puts me in a class known as "non-essential." Simply put, that means they do not need me to run the shop. As a result, they will not allow me to pick up any extra hours because every hour that I do work, they are overbudget. Why didn't they just fire me, you ask? They could have, and they probably would've been justified in doing so, BUT...if they had, they would've had a lulu of a lawsuit on their hands. Which is why, when I went to casting two weeks ago, although it wasn't said, I distinctly got the impression that not only were they not going to extend my program, but they weren't interested in employing me either. No matter how many guest service fanatic cards I have, or how many kids I've made smile.
You may say, "Why are you posting this while still on the program?" I've asked several people about this, and that is why I posted the disclaimer. It protects me. Besides, all this has done nothing to lessen my enthusiasm for the Brand. All this has nothing to do with Mickey or all the happy things Disney. I still love Disney. Besides, I understand. It's strictly business.
Anyway, that's it. If you comment, please do so here and not on Facebook.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Restarting this thing....
Recently I realized that it would be incredibly stupid of me to expect to get a job with the Disney Parks Blog if I don't actually have a blog. So I am restarting this thing and hopefully I can write interesting enough stuff to like, I dunno, become an internet blogging sensation or something. I mean, it has been my dream to get paid for what I write since I was a little kid. Plus, if I get a job as a blogger, it's conceivable that I could sit in my house (or wherever I wanted, which at this point I would say would be somewhere in the Magic Kingdom) and write. The idea that someone would actually pay to read my stuff seems a little far fetched to me, but my mom has been pushing me to write my entire life, and I like doing it, so why not? By the way, if any readers have suggestions for topics, please feel free, suggest away. More to come soon, look out!
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